NIGHT SCENES

Night wears a hungry mouth;
White breaths march

Fast.




- ksm / 2015



Inspiration: "Poetics: Black & White" by Mary Grace Guevara



20 comments:

  1. You packed a punch in 10 syllables ~ Lovely to see you Kelvin ~

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  2. So evocative for something so short.
    And easy to interpret many ways that.
    My first image was of breath in winter, the white puff.
    March was an interesting use of verb.
    And the fast, I found suggestive of intimacy, maybe.

    Good to see you , sir.

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  3. You have captured the night perfectly, Kelvin!

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  4. I make exactly the same interpretation as X... to me it evokes a feeling of those nights when you can hear the sound of snow underneath your soles.. yes I see myself walking fast with the hands down my pocket.

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  5. Oh wow. This is excellent! I see heat more than cold~

    And the word "march" always makes me think of the astrological sign of Pisces. Definitely one the most interesting signs.

    "Night wears a hungry mouth." I love that.

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  6. A novella in 9 words/10 syllables; wow. Night is often hungry, but to personalize it with a maw is sensual cool. Second line I first misread as /White breathes March/ which puts a whole different spin on the piece. Very imaginative take on the prompt though.

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  7. just 10 syllables and a whole firework of images before my mind's eyes.. masterfully woven sir...

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  8. Kelvin, I always look forward to your work and this doesn't disappoint. You have such a facility with expressing much in few words. Your Tilus form? I love it.

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  9. You are so winning me over to this Tilus form - a beautiful, suggestive brevity there!

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  10. Very tight! Each word is perfectly placed.

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  11. Maybe the attraction of the tilus form is that we want more!

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  12. The breaths of the last
    of life.. March strong
    into the last
    White of life..
    dark comes..
    light goes..
    breath is
    so
    precious
    alive..:)

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  13. First time I visited your site and will be back for sure... excellent expression in 10 syllables. Great stuff!

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  14. So beautifully crafted..10 syllables of magic..Nice to see you again my friend..

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  15. My interpretations are close to those of X and Björn. Your poem also made me think of the way death was portrayed in the Middle-Ages.

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  16. My 10 syllable response would be...

    Wonderful masterpiece of brevity.

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  17. I read fear and a terrifying threat in "Night wears a hungry mouth"; "White breaths march" suggests a victim running, with breath freezing upon exhalation . "Fast" describes both the rate of breathing and the race to escape.

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  18. Short but it will be bustling with various interpretations

    Hank

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