So evocative for something so short. And easy to interpret many ways that. My first image was of breath in winter, the white puff. March was an interesting use of verb. And the fast, I found suggestive of intimacy, maybe.
I make exactly the same interpretation as X... to me it evokes a feeling of those nights when you can hear the sound of snow underneath your soles.. yes I see myself walking fast with the hands down my pocket.
A novella in 9 words/10 syllables; wow. Night is often hungry, but to personalize it with a maw is sensual cool. Second line I first misread as /White breathes March/ which puts a whole different spin on the piece. Very imaginative take on the prompt though.
Kelvin, I always look forward to your work and this doesn't disappoint. You have such a facility with expressing much in few words. Your Tilus form? I love it.
I read fear and a terrifying threat in "Night wears a hungry mouth"; "White breaths march" suggests a victim running, with breath freezing upon exhalation . "Fast" describes both the rate of breathing and the race to escape.
You packed a punch in 10 syllables ~ Lovely to see you Kelvin ~
ReplyDeleteSo evocative for something so short.
ReplyDeleteAnd easy to interpret many ways that.
My first image was of breath in winter, the white puff.
March was an interesting use of verb.
And the fast, I found suggestive of intimacy, maybe.
Good to see you , sir.
You have captured the night perfectly, Kelvin!
ReplyDeleteI make exactly the same interpretation as X... to me it evokes a feeling of those nights when you can hear the sound of snow underneath your soles.. yes I see myself walking fast with the hands down my pocket.
ReplyDeleteOh wow. This is excellent! I see heat more than cold~
ReplyDeleteAnd the word "march" always makes me think of the astrological sign of Pisces. Definitely one the most interesting signs.
"Night wears a hungry mouth." I love that.
concise and tight
ReplyDeleteA novella in 9 words/10 syllables; wow. Night is often hungry, but to personalize it with a maw is sensual cool. Second line I first misread as /White breathes March/ which puts a whole different spin on the piece. Very imaginative take on the prompt though.
ReplyDeletejust 10 syllables and a whole firework of images before my mind's eyes.. masterfully woven sir...
ReplyDeleteKelvin, I always look forward to your work and this doesn't disappoint. You have such a facility with expressing much in few words. Your Tilus form? I love it.
ReplyDeleteYou are so winning me over to this Tilus form - a beautiful, suggestive brevity there!
ReplyDeleteVery tight! Each word is perfectly placed.
ReplyDeleteMaybe the attraction of the tilus form is that we want more!
ReplyDeleteThe breaths of the last
ReplyDeleteof life.. March strong
into the last
White of life..
dark comes..
light goes..
breath is
so
precious
alive..:)
First time I visited your site and will be back for sure... excellent expression in 10 syllables. Great stuff!
ReplyDeleteSo beautifully crafted..10 syllables of magic..Nice to see you again my friend..
ReplyDeleteMy interpretations are close to those of X and Björn. Your poem also made me think of the way death was portrayed in the Middle-Ages.
ReplyDeleteMy 10 syllable response would be...
ReplyDeleteWonderful masterpiece of brevity.
I read fear and a terrifying threat in "Night wears a hungry mouth"; "White breaths march" suggests a victim running, with breath freezing upon exhalation . "Fast" describes both the rate of breathing and the race to escape.
ReplyDeleteWow!!......Woww....so good..
ReplyDeleteShort but it will be bustling with various interpretations
ReplyDeleteHank